November 18

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What Kind of Narcissist Is He?

Not all narcissists are the same.

Some are blatant. They act in obvious ways.

Some are more subtle. They hide their true purpose.

Both are toxic.

The obvious ones can be charming. They are outgoing and friendly much of the time. People usually like them at first meeting.

But over time, their true nature shows. They become more demanding. The outward show of charm wears thin. The judgments and put-downs increase. And all this happens out in the open. It’s like they don’t care what anyone thinks.

One example of this is someone who takes pleasure in shaming people. Waiters, tellers, service people… anyone they can put down in public.

The subtle ones are harder to spot. Like the overt ones, they start out friendly. But later things change.

Subtle narcissists are furtive… they hide what they are doing. And often, their actions increase gradually. A small put-down here. A bit of guilt trip there. You hardly notice.

Over time, the plot thickens. They ratchet up their self-esteem destruction machine.

In either version, there are things in common. For example, there are periods of love-bombing. Extra attention. Playing nice.

They suck you in. And feed the hope that it’s all okay.

But those times never last. Just when you think things are fine… BAM! You get his with another round of abuse.

What kind of narcissist have you experienced? Share in the comments…

About the author 

Bruce Eichelberger

After 27 years married to a narcissist, Bruce is on a mission. He's dedicated to helping women break free of the spell of the toxic narcissist. His rallying cry is, "Victim to Victor!"

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