November 12

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What Happens When You Live With A Narcissist?

Two good things came out of my 27-year marriage to a narcisssist.

First, I was able to reclaim my self-esteem. That was huge, but not immediate.

Second, I got in-depth personal knowledge of narcissists and their their partners.

Narcissists seek out and feed off of people with these qualities:

* Empathetic
* Kind
* Good-hearted
* Sensitive
* Non-confrontational

In other words, Gentle Souls. And in this case, the source of narcissist supply. The narcissist has one goal: to steal the self-esteem of their source.

At the beginning, they never tip their hand. They adore and pay loving attention to their partner. The name for this is “Love Bombing.”

But over time, this changes. The narcissist does everything they can to keep their partner off balance. This can be subtle. Sometimes it’s more overt. But it is relentless.

The effect of this on the person they are with is devastating. It includes:

  1. Their self esteem erodes over time.
  2. They start questioning their own perceptions.
  3. They find themselves separated from other close relationships.
  4. They depend more and more on the narcissist.
  5. They are afraid to upset the narcissist, so they give in to keep the peace.

And worst of all, they keep thinking the narcissist will change.

The problem is, it is highly unlikely. 

If you’ve lived with a narcissist, what was your experience? I’d love to read your comments below…

About the author 

Bruce Eichelberger

After 27 years married to a narcissist, Bruce is on a mission. He's dedicated to helping women break free of the spell of the toxic narcissist. His rallying cry is, "Victim to Victor!"

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