November 18


The “False Hope Trap”

When someone is in a narcissistic relationship, they can get stuck in the “False Hope Trap.”

What does this mean? The person subject to the narcissist tends to hope they can and will change.

This usually happens for 2 reasons:

  1. They assume that if they try hard enough, they’ll find a way to help their partner. And they hope that will make everything better.
  2. They get trapped by the constant push and pull of their partner. Feeling loved one moment, abused the next.

The problem with both of these is they come from denial. The subject of the abuse fails to notice that nothing they do changes anything. And they pay more attention to any positive attention they get, ignoring the negative.

Even more important is their innocent disbelief that anyone could act this way. Or at least that someone could act that way towards them. It’s inconceivable to them.

What’s the solution? How does someone escape the False Hope Trap? There are definitely steps to take.

Have you experienced this in yourself or others? I’d love to hear your take on this in the comments…

About the author 

Bruce Eichelberger

After 27 years married to a narcissist, Bruce is on a mission. He's dedicated to helping women break free of the spell of the toxic narcissist. His rallying cry is, "Victim to Victor!"

Want To Go Fast? Then Slow Down…
Fearlessly Failing
Fighting Fear, Finding Freedom

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