December 15

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Control or Not? A Better Option

Control is a basic issue in life. It exists in the world and within ourselves. And it’s almost always present in relationships.

This issue is especially important for Gentle Souls. They are more aware of it. And, because they want to be caring and kind, they often defer to others’ control. That doesn’t always go well.

Are there rules about this? Well, not rules exactly, but at least guidelines.

Ways To Think About Control

When in control, you can exercise free will. This has a big effect on the outcome of an event. That’s very positive.

By contrast, if you are out of control, you can’t focus your free will. This means you have less influence on the outcome.

But there is a third option… trust.

Trust comes in two forms:

  1. Trusting others
  2. Trusting yourself.

When it comes to trusting others, Gentle Souls can overdo it. The best approach is to “Trust, but verify.”

That means you trust but keep your eyes open. If they show themselves untrustworthy, you can change your approach.

Trusting yourself is a bigger deal. It requires some inner work. And willingness to change patterns that don’t work for you.

When you learn how to completely trust yourself, things get better. You gain confidence & control. And you’ll increase the expression of your authentic self.

I’d love to talk with you about ways you can learn how to trust yourself and others. Send me a message and let’s talk.

About the author 

Bruce Eichelberger

After 27 years married to a narcissist, Bruce is on a mission. He's dedicated to helping women break free of the spell of the toxic narcissist. His rallying cry is, "Victim to Victor!"

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